I have always wondered what was worse then unsatisfying sex, and now, finally, I have the answer. Working your ass off at University and obtaining insanely high marks just to be informed the scholarship you did it for, the scholarship you dreamt about has changed, and as of this year will now be awarded to first years students instead of to second years. And sure, the year YOU did first year it was handed to SECOND years, but such is life... There goes another fucking useless day...
alida
getting old
So here's the funny thing, in Australia the big birthday is your 18th. that's when all the responsiblity your parents had for you get shifted to your shoulders and you are forced to fend for yourself and the result of your teenage pregnancy. this might have alot to do with the fact that being and 18 year old single mother in australia is not at all a bad thing, it's in fact a sure way to make your transition into adulthood alot easier since the goverment will pity and support you. Oh and dont bother getting a job, for two reasons. one is u'll never earn enough in one day to cover the babysittng costs and u'll never earn more then the goverment is willing to pay as your unemployment fund. thus, as a 19 year old when i pitched up in Australia I forfitted the whole becoming an adult thing and skipped the whole getting a key on my cake thing. But now that i'm here, back in south africa I feel like i got back what was wrongfully taken from me, only problem is that i'll hand it back if i could... mmmm.... how screwed up r we, huh? never happy
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Isn't it ironic, don't you think?
Why do u get your heart broken by the most unlikely canidate? Why do u pay more to colour your hair at a hairdresser just so it can wash out quicker? Why does your beloved pants become fashion as soon as they are worn in? Why does the neighbours retile their roof on your only day you get to sleep in? Why do ppl only hit on you when you're not single? Why does good face wash come in non-water proof holders and get spoiled in the shower? Why does all your favourite shows start at once? Why does South Africa beat Australia in cricket and lose to Sri Lanka 2 days later? why r things always so damn unpredictable? Will we really end up doing what we are suppose to do? Being who we r suppose to be? Being with who we r suppose to be with? Or was I extremely naive to think that?
It's been a long time
Hey everyone
it's been ages since I post, my motherboard blew up... took forever to get it fixed. I got the pc new about a year ago and already they dont make the boards anymore, what's up with that? seriously, it's outrageous....
I cant hang out too long, my brother is visiting and I'm the offical entertainment for his trip.
oh, adrian, how r u sweety?! c u in about two weeks 
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My affair with Death
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death
deathAt night when I’m lying in my bed there’s always one topic on my mind. Sometimes it gets delayed because my head is filled with images of the day, maybe lingering on the person I’m in love with and repeating his words in my head looking for signs of a return of fascination. But there’s always one, uhm, thing that comes up again, death.
Every night we waltz together, surrounded by lives gone by and futures with no purpose. It’s inevitable that we while be united one day, just like everyone who walked the earth before me was. I fear it like nothing else, it haunts me, follows me, always waiting for its unnaturally long periods of dwelling of my mind on it. It feeds off the attention, drawing closer with ever second that pass. When I’m waiting for the microwave to tick off its last few seconds before delivering my “home made” dinner I always wonder “Is this it? Will this be the act that ends all my actions?”
I’m forever bound to it by my hate for it. For a long time I thought I was obsessed with it, but now I realise death is obsessed with me. It’s jealous of moments in which I forget about it, in which I’m distracted by good company or sex, when my mind is pre-occupied by integration or quantum physics or whatever else it is that I’m cramming into it before a rushed exam. These are the only times I manage to prolong its suffering, avoid its stare. And does it stare? Right through me to the side of me that knows why its there, that knows I can’t ignore it, that gets irritated by it’s presence beyond words.
Do I think about it because I’m depressed like 90% of the other people in my family? I’ve often wondered about that, but shouldn’t depression eventually lead to suicide? I assure you I will NEVER commit suicide, why would I? How do you find the solution to all your problems in the arms of its source? Maybe one day I’ll get tired of running, maybe its inevitability will drive me crazy, maybe I will fall in love with it because it’s the only constant thing in my live.
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